Insights from a palliative nurse’s seminal work prompt reflection on life priorities, resonating deeply with island dwellers and digital nomads alike.
BALI – For those of us drawn to Bali—whether for a fortnight’s escape, a year of remote work, or a lifetime of residence—the island sells a potent promise: a life more intentional. It’s a backdrop against which we seek to rewrite our narratives, prioritizing well-being, community, and authenticity over the grind we left behind.
Yet, even in paradise, the profound wisdom of those at life’s final threshold offers a stark and universal mirror.
As famously documented by palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware in her revelatory book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, the sentiments expressed in life’s closing chapters are strikingly consistent, and rarely concern stock portfolios or professional accolades.
Instead, they are poignant reflections on lived truth, connection, and joy. For a global audience navigating life in Bali’s fast-paced yet spiritually rich environment, these regrets are not morbid musings but a urgent blueprint for conscious living.
The Five Core Regrets: A Universal Checklist
Ware’s research, drawn from years at the bedsides of the dying, crystallizes into five recurring themes:
- “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” This, Ware notes, was the most common regret of all. The realization of dreams unfulfilled, of paths chosen to please parents or conform to society, carries a particular heaviness. In a Balinese context, where societal harmony (menyama braya) is deeply valued, this regret serves as a crucial reminder that personal authenticity must find its place within the collective.
- “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.” This sentiment echoes from Ware’s patients to modern surveys. A Harris Poll in the US found 78% of workers sacrificed vacation time for their jobs. In Bali, a hub for entrepreneurs and driven professionals, the temptation to hustle against a tropical sunset is real. Even Bill Gates has reflected on his early “no weekends, no vacations” dogma, advising graduates not to wait as long as he did to learn that life contains more than work.
- “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.” Suppressed emotions, many realized too late, led to a settled existence of mediocrity and, at times, chronic illness. The lesson is clear: honest communication is not a luxury but a necessity for a full life.
- “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.” In the final days, it is the richness of friendships, often neglected in the daily scramble, that people treasure and miss. For expats and travelers far from their original networks, this regret underscores the importance of nurturing the new, deep connections forged on the island.
- “I wish that I had let myself be happier.” Surprisingly, many only grasped at the end that happiness is a conscious choice. They remained trapped in old patterns, mistaking the familiarity of comfort for contentment. “Deep down, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their lives again,” Ware writes.
A Call to Action for the Bali Life
The resonance for Bali’s international community is palpable. Many come here precisely to course-correct away from these future regrets—to work less rigidly, connect more deeply, and pursue a truer version of themselves. Yet, the inertia of old habits can persist even amidst rice terrares and temple offerings.
Ware’s findings are not a prescription for hedonism, but for mindful courage. It is the courage to define success on your own terms, to protect time for rejuvenation and relationships, and to voice your truth. As oncologist Siddhartha Mukherjee has observed, at the end, people often wish simply to express more love and gratitude.
Bali, with its cultural emphasis on balance (sekala and niskala) and its daily reminders of impermanence through ceremony, provides a unique landscape to integrate this wisdom. It’s a place where one can actively choose to build a life that minimizes these profound regrets.
“Life is a choice,” concludes Bronnie Ware. “It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.” For those calling this island home, even temporarily, the message is an empowering one: the most important journey may not be to Bali, but into a life crafted with intention, long before the final chapter is written.
